Heidi Montag News

I don’t normally focus on D-list celebrity gossip, but this was just too funny to pass up. Heidi Montag, the “reality” star who has managed to outdo Paris Hilton in the vapid blond department, is planning a career as an actress and a screenwriter.

It seems Montag has had some time on her hands now that MTV has cancelled “The Hills” after six seasons and she’s finished healing from a plastic surgery transformation even Michael Jackson would have called excessive. She’s gained a minuscule amount of experience acting in a short Funny or Die bit directed by Ron Howard and a cameo on the latest Adam.

The 23-year-old attention whore told People (via Cinematical) she has written a screenplay about a lifeguard named Summer who saves the beach from a shark with… wait for it… her boobs. It’s a 3D beach comedy! “Of course,” Montag will play the lead, but she’s written a part for Dolly Parton to play the mayor. What is this, a town of only large-breasted women? Where is this magical place?